“Your eyes go from green to a silver grey depending on how much you’re tired of my shit.” He says as I sit on his lap, my silk pants tightly hugging my ass. I smell slightly of sweat. The night spent in his bed on my own, drowning in the covers, surrounded by pillows in a vague shape of where his body would be were he there. The sun’s peeking through the window, illuminating my cheekbone. Illuminating me with a reality check. 

I wonder how long it will take this illusionary love affair to cease into oblivion.You called me a mermaid that morning, they all called me a mermaid at some point. Then I left. Rebelling against rebellion, rebelling against love.I wonder if the dreams I have when I sleep next to you are just an extension of yourself. You must think I am crazy. I say it’s not even the beginning.

I wonder if you roll around your bedsheets stained with my blood at dusk with your other lover. I wonder if she wakes up next to my hair on the pillow.I wonder if she can smell me on your skin, slowly evaporating from your pores.I wonder if it matters.

I wonder if I like you more when you’re drunk and let me do pretty much anything to you or when you’re sober and growl one syllables at me.

The Heaviness with which you tortured my soul for a little while.

It’s been seven months since you danced into my life with such ease as if it was without a question that soon all the oceans in the world shall remind me how the water would drip on my face from you curls as you wash my body. Maybe we are just drifting away to the sea, leaving everything far behind us. I still draw pictures on your soul in the middle of the night.